the dump

I am finding myself in quite a rut. It is times like these I wonder why I choose to remain in Davis. The fridge in the house that I am staying at recently broke, and the repairman can only come by on Thursday, the earliest. I already had to throw out a lot of my meat and backup food because they had gone bad already. Tonight I managed to whip up a quick pasta dish (crossing my fingers that the tomato sauce in the fridge is still good, else food-poisoning here we come..) with some remaining ingredients lying around (onion, garlic, Parmesan cheese). On the downside, it's not as fun cooking for myself, versus cooking for someone else. There's no joy, no entertainment, no satisfaction (except for no longer being hungry, which is a plus I suppose). I would have rather gone out to eat, if only I could find a dinner companion. And here lies my woe. In this small town of Davis, CA, it consists of primarily college students, college students that flow in and out like a steady stream. Once pass the graduation date, the friends you've met, the people you are so familiar with, just flows on by. I feel like the leaf that got stuck in-between rocks and grounded by gravel. Sometimes I feel quite alone, and I wonder what am I doing here when I can be back home surrounded by family. I wonder, is this worth it. From the years I've spent in this town, I have come to the realization that I am a social creature. I need to constantly interact with others to feel happy, and only on occasion do I enjoy my "alone time."