waiting for winter

It's nearing the end of September and I can't believe we are still in the mid-high 90s here in Davis. I'm ready for the coldness of Winter, the bulky sweaters and jackets, and oh my, definitely the soups and stews! I want to try my hand at making clam chowder, chicken pot pie, and even a Thai soup that looks so scrumptious I can eat it off the page! My brother told me I should try to make it right now anyway, despite the weather, but I don't know...

I also started a new scarf for myself with the blue yarn from Caron and it's going pretty well so far, with the exception of a slight curling on the edges. The design is coming through nicely, which I am greatly pleased with. In addition, I bought a Kaplan Vocabulary deck for the GREs and I must admit, it is a lot easier to study with actual, physical, flashcards rather than using the flashcard website. I can carry the deck anywhere. It is extremely portable and compact!

As for everything else, I'm experiencing a cautious optimism? I'm trying to just keep my head on straight, focus on the GREs and get that done with, and let everything else fall into place. I can only hope and strive for the best, cross my fingers, dot my I's and cross my X's, etc. So yes, cautiously optimistic is the phrase I would use to describe my mood for the time being. Maybe even slightly tinged with apprehension?

september sucks

This week has been yet again, another disastrous week for me. I know this is more complaining on my part but I can only keep it to myself to the point of exploding. I feel like I'm sailing on the most ill-constructed boat ever, rocking back and forth on the water, unsure when or if I'm going to fall overboard. I'm craving for stability and the more it eludes me, the more frustrated and unhappy I'm becoming. I'm at the point where I cannot mentally focus on anything but trashy reality TV shows like The Rachel Zoe Project. Anything where I can turn my brain off is good for me. When my brain is on, my thoughts continually wander back to certain topics and events and it's like the replay button is stuck, looping me with conversation snippets that just makes me want to cringe and cry. I need a hard slap on the face to compose myself.

I want to go shopping so more and just spend on shoes and nail polish. I want to buy many more pairs of heels but it sucks when I have no where to wear them to, nor anyone who will appreciate them on me. Right now I can say that September is the worst month of all. I'm so emotionally drained that I feel physically ill.

saturday shopping

I was reading another blog earlier (Happy Fun Time) and was struck by how different the writing was compared to mine. I typically type down exactly what I am thinking, whereas the other blog sounds a lot more formal, more structured, more educated. (boo me...) Maybe I should brainstorm topics for the my blog and then go about writing it as if it was an essay, complete with examples and explanations. Hmm... that's a thought.

Today my family and I went on a semi-shopping spree. We originally planned to go to Michaels (for more yarn!) and then to Costco for food and gas. I saw Joannes Fabric and made a quick detour which lead to us Marshalls and Nordstrom Rack. There were so many shoes at Marshalls!

Score! Can't wait to wear these. Check out those heels...

Afterwards we went to Sizzler for lunch, yummmm! We are so stuffed that there is no room for dinner! Clam chowder soup, oh my goodness. Be still my beating stomach.

A small portion of food we consumed at Sizzler.

Ice cream! With M&Ms and Oreos! :)

On a side note, I saw my first train crossing in Davis last Tuesday while I was waiting for my GRE class to start. Clarification, I saw a train crossing and blocking traffic.

I thought it was pretty neat and decided to take a picture of it. Numerous cars got tired of waiting and made U-turns to leave. Speaking of which, I should really do my Test 3.

a convoluted mess

It's interesting to see how up and down my week have become. I started nice and high on Monday, and now, heading into Friday, I feel like I'm wadding through mud, stuck to the floor with stormy clouds above. Quite a scene huh? Okay, maybe I'm being a tad bit dramatic. I find myself frowning a lot today. I just want to throw my hands in the air and proceed to bury my head underneath my pillow. But I shouldn't. I shouldn't do this, I shouldn't do that, what should I do? And yes, I know I shouldn't have such a defeated attitude but I feel lost, once again. I just wonder how we will rebound back from it and when. I know I shouldn't be focusing on it because I have other things that I should direct my attention to but it's so gosh darn distracting.

I must stay positive! Think happy thoughts! At least fake it?

Labor Day Weekend

My Labor Day weekend can be summarized with a couple of words: hectic, laughs, smiles.

It was a bit crazy driving back home just to drive away the very next morning with 3-4 hours of sleep. Thank goodness my dad provided me with life's best energy source - COFFEE! And having my brother wish me a happy and safe trip to LA definitely made the morning way brighter. The plane was unexpectedly tiny! I was definitely worried for a while because of all the noise the plane was making when the gears was going up.

It was really fun hanging out with B's family and watching them interact with one another. My family functions really different in comparison so it was nice to see and be a part of something different for once. It was also interesting meeting the rest of his family and his cousins/nephews/nieces. The wedding was also really nice and touching. I nearly teared up because I thought it was so sweet and simple. Yeah, I get teary-eyed quite easily...

I didn't take that many pictures but I'll for sure remember this weekend for awhile. These are some of the memorable places and things we did: went to Rosco's Chicken N Waffles (a higher-end KFC in my opinion), a fancy Chinese restaurant that served shark fin soup (this was quite a debate afterwards, whether it was actually shark fin soup or something else...), a yummy Indonesian cafe (I want to go again!!), Wolfgang Puck catering at the wedding, and Manhattan beach (too bad the weather was kind of crappy). Oh, and I also brought back some desserts from the Indonesian cafe and it was delicious! B said that Indonesian food is a bit fattening, which is super unfortunate because it tastes so phenomenal that I want to have it every day and would have to sacrifice my waistline for it. Food, or waist. Hmm.. tough decision.

It was only 3 days but it was a well-needed vacation, even though I was running low on sleep. It's hard getting back to work mode when your body and mind just wants to run the other way. Now all I'm looking forward to is a trip out of the state, maybe to Hawaii again? That would be pretty sweet.

sweltering, melting

The weather is so crazy right now! It's night time and I feel as though the temperature hasn't even dropped one bit. I can't wait to get back to the bay where all the fog and chillness is.

Yesterday B, The Professor, and I went on a little field trip to find these little creatures down below.

Burrowing owls! Also known as Athene cunicularia. Did you know that these particular owls are most active in the day? Yes, I wikipedia-ed the information. And that's all I know as of yet. Maybe I should have asked The Professor more questions while we were staring down the owls. I was too busy feeling miserable in the oppressive heat in my jeans, cursing myself for not bringing an extra pair of shorts to change into. Unfortunately the sun was glaring straight at us while we were taking pictures of the owls so this is the best picture I've got. (We brought a friend's better quality camera but the battery died after like 5 photos - major fail!) I definitely want to go back and take better pictures, preferably with a camera that's fully charged.